I found this draft post. I may as well post it.
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The trading of joy comes naturally because it is of the nature of joy to proclaim and share itself. Joy cannot contain itself, as we say. It overflows.
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The trading of joy comes naturally because it is of the nature of joy to proclaim and share itself. Joy cannot contain itself, as we say. It overflows.
From inward/outward
Ahh, that's why I want to tell my own story. Because of joy.
At Passover it's a mitzvah to tell the story of the Exodus... but not "such and such happened and our ancestors were brought out Egypt" but in the first person, "I was brought out of Egypt, we were brought out from Egypt". You can't be true to the joy without recording the horrors of the journey -- horse and rider were thrown into the sea, Miriam tells us, and at Seder there is the dayenu song, literally "enough".
If God had brought me out of the household I grew up in but not brought me to a new country, it would have been enough.
If God had brought me to a new country but not sent me to Academic Institution, it would have been enough.
If God had sent me to Academic Institution but not given me help for depression, it would have been enough.
If God had given me help for depression but not sent Sweetie into my life, it would have been enough.
If God had sent Sweetie into my life but not given me diagnosis of my physical illnesses, it would have been enough.
If God had given me diagnosis of my physical illnesses but not a mentor and friend to encourage me through my degree, it would have been enough.
If God had given me a mentor and friend to encourage me through my degree, but not allowed us to keep in touch after she left Academic Institution, it would have been enough.
If God had allowed us to keep in touch after she left Academic Institution but not brought me to church services because of her, it would have been enough.
If God had brought me to church services because of my friend and mentor but not found me a choir to sing in, it would have been enough.
If God had found me a choir to sing in but not allowed me to believe what I sang, it would have been enough.
If Got had allowed me to believe what I sang but not sent another friend who invited me to Seder, it would have been enough.
If God had sent the friend who invited me to Seder but not whispered in my ear "Do this in remembrance of me," it would have been enough.
If God had whispered in my ear "Do this in remembrance of me," but not sent me to churches where I was welcome to sit and eat, it would have been enough.
If God had sent me to churches where I was welcome to sit and eat, but not given me a vocation to serve at the table, it would have been enough.
If God had given me a vocation to serve at the table but not allowed me to be confirmed, it would have been enough.
If God had sent Jesus to die on the cross for me, and not done any of this... if God had not brought me out of the household I grew up in, not sent me to a new country and to Academic Institution, not given me help for depression, not brought Sweetie into my life, not found diagnoses for my physical illnesses, not given me a mentor and friend who encouraged me through my degree and stayed in touch afterward and invited me to church, not sent a choir I could sing in or allowed me to believe what I sang, not made sure I got to Seder and heard that voice, not helped me find churches where I was welcome to sit and eat, not given me a vocation to priesthood, not allowed me to be confirmed... it would have been enough.
It remains to be seen whether God will allow me to jump through the hoops required by the Church Bureaucratic before ordination is possible.
Either way, it will have been enough.
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And of course, much has happened since I wrote this post...
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