Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Boring Health Crap continues

The doctor on Monday was pretty useless. My bloodwork is all normal, so of course there couldn't possibly be anything wrong, right?

On the plus side, I'm not about to keel over from any of the things they could test for, things that show up in blood tests. But given that I have a few chronic conditions already, none of which were diagnosable from initial blood tests, I don't feel happy about this.

I'll be back in a month for my regular meds; if I'm still having symptoms (which at the moment have me spending half a day in bed about once a week, which says a bit as I don't retreat easily, but don't seem to be getting any worse) I will see if I can get things taken seriously. The problem is, of course, I'm not a doctor -- I don't know what should be investigated next. If the doctor doesn't take me seriously the only thing I can do is see a different one.

I'm quite tired of things going "wrong" with this body of mine. I can understand the appeal of a sort of dualism, of thinking well, my body isn't really "me", my soul or personhood will somehow be released from this at some stage, the material doesn't matter, matter doesn't matter. But this is the stuff I am made of, and it is at once broken and perfect, like the rest of the world.

I live in the hope that love can transform matter.


MadPriest said...

Your body is you. There is nothing else. Even your thoughts are a bodily action. Nothing is all in your mind because the mind and the body are one. Because of this, if you feel something it is real. Do not listen to doctors who tell you otherwise (they are just trying to build fences around their chosen discipline in a system that keeps the mind and body separate). Listen to your body (all of it) and take its advice over that of doctors. Above all, be kind to yourself. Accept that what is real to you is real. Go with the flow rather than fighting against it.

it's margaret said...

I'm so sorry Song. You continue in my prayers, and I hope you find relief soon.

Song in my Heart said...

Margaret -- so sorry I didn't see your comment, the ones on older posts are screened, and I haven't been logging into this account ...

Feeling better on some fronts and worse on others.

Song in my Heart said...

MadPriest -- going with the flow is sometimes easier said than done. But I'm learning. :)